


We're ALL in this together

by ireallyshouldnt_behere



Series: We can have it ALL, can't we? [2]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ireallyshouldnt_behere/pseuds/ireallyshouldnt_behere
Summary: They could do it, right? They had made it out before, they just had to be strong.Right?
Relationships: Bolin/Opal (Avatar), Korra/Asami Sato
Series: We can have it ALL, can't we? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858651
Comments: 86
Kudos: 286





	We're ALL in this together

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 2 of a series so if you found this little story first I really recommend reading part one first! Hope you all enjoy and thanks for stopping by.

She ached oh so deliciously, her languid stretch in the early morning sun rustled sheets that had been nearly destroyed the night before. Her stomach dropped in desire thinking about last night, about how powerful Korra had been. 

The bed dipped and she cracked her eyes open to see where her fiancée was headed but her body flushed with cold dread at the sight. 

“Korra...your back,” she choked as she sat up. 

Korra threw a cocky grin over her shoulder and laughed. “You begged me not to stop, and I’m not complaining. You know I like it when you can lose yourself like that,” she paused and shook her head with a happy sigh, “and if I had known that’s how you would have reacted I would have proposed sooner.” She slipped on a pair of pants and sauntered back over to Asami to give her a kiss. 

Asami deflected it and instead rose to her knees and forced Korra around. “No, Korra. Your back. It’s....bruised.”

They both knew what it meant and Korra froze, skin rippling in sinking fear. 

“Asami, I-“

“We’re going to the hospital.” Her tone left no room for argument and they got dressed to leave. Asami rushed around, calling Opal while she hopped around to put her pants on, but Korra was much more slow. She really hoped that her bruising was just a result of Asami’s dragging, scratching fingers from the night before but with one look in the mirror she knew it wasn’t so. 

Their quick drive to the hospital was mostly silent, Asami weaved in and out of the light Saturday morning traffic with ease and before she could even have a hot cup of coffee, they were sitting in front of Opal. 

“I see congratulations are in order?” Opal began with a nod towards the ring on Asami’s finger. She fidgeted with it but smiled nonetheless, even through her fear of the moment, the token of Korra’s love soothed her worried heart. 

“Thank you, Opal,” Asami said softly. “But can we....”

“Get to business, yes.” Opal stood up straighter and turned to Korra. “So what seems to be the problem, Korra?”

“Asami noticed I had bruises on my back this morning.”

Opal nodded and washed her hands before returning to the side of the bed that Korra was sitting on. “Can I take a look?”

Korra nodded and pulled her shirt over her head, blushing when Opal whistled at the sight of her back which was covered not only in bruises, but thick red lines from Asami’s nails. 

“Shit, Kor. You need to teach Bolin some moves.”

“Opal!” Asami chastised, not exactly in the mood to play around. Opal just rolled her eyes and took a better look at the deep purple bruises that encased all of the scratch marks. Asami’s stomach churned at the thought of being the one to create them. 

“Ok, Korra, you know the drill,” Opal said as she pulled the shirt back down for her. “I’m going to feel around all of your lymph nodes and stomach. Have you noticed any other symptoms besides the bruising?”

Korra took a deep breath and hazard a sheepish side eye towards Asami. “I’ve been a little nauseous this past week, but I kind of just thought it was nerves from asking her to marry me.”

Asami managed to keep a straight face, only offering a small smile towards the girl on the table, but internally she was seething. Korra knew better than to keep something like that away from her. It had only been a year since her last chemo treatment, and while she had finished off that last round beautifully, Korra had in no way been in the clear. 

Opal had her lie back onto the table to feel for any swelling and hummed. “Nothing else that would jump out at you as a symptom?”

Korra thought for a moment before shaking her head. “Everything’s been good, really. I guess I was just hoping that it wouldn’t happen again.”

“I know what you mean,” Opal offered sweetly and let her sit back up. “The rate of relapse is higher within the five year mark after remission. We’re going to get all your bloodwork done and-“

“Call radiology and let them know that she’s getting an X-ray and CT scan, and of course we need to schedule the bone marrow aspi-“

“Asami, can I speak to you outside?” Opal cut her off before Asami could continue. She looked between Korra, who was smiling softly at her, and the doctor who was actually in a coat and acquiesced. 

They left Korra in the room and walked down the hall a little to have some privacy, Asami knew what was coming from her mild outburst. 

“Look, you’re my best friend Asami, but you know that you can’t be on this case.” Opal gave her an apologetic look and Asami deflated. 

“I’m just....I don’t know what to do.”

A hand rested on her arm and squeezed. “I know, honey. You must be worried out of your mind, but we got this ok? I learned from the best, you know that right?” Opal threw her a wink and they both laughed. 

“You’ll keep me posted, right?” She asked her best friend, her sidekick, her protege. “Don’t keep me in the dark. I know it’s a conflict of interest and I promise I won’t do anything medical to her unless it’s a life or death situation, but fuck, Opal. I need to know.”

“I’m sure Korra wouldn’t have it any other way, ok?” They started to walk back towards the room from which they came. “Let's just get the bloodwork done before we start worrying about anything, alright? And you guys live together now, you’ll be right by her side always and you can rest assured knowing that you’ll be able to control your environment.”

Asami released a shiver at the thought of how infection prone Korra had been last time, but Opal was right. They shouldn’t worry until the results were back and they were sure that Korra’s cancer had come back. 

______

It had, in fact, come back.

______

Round one was routine, annoying, painful, and pretty ugly. The night after Opal had given her the word that her ALL had returned, Korra grabbed the hair clippers and told Asami to buzz everything off. She knew her hair would go soon enough and it was the first step she wanted to take to solidify the reality of it. 

Her hair had grown long in the nearly two years since it started to return. While it had been incredibly wavy when it was short, the length weighed it down enough where it just looked like soft, rolling waves. She hiked it once more into a ponytail and chopped it off, once more throwing it into a bag to donate. This time, however, she closed her eyes as Asami ran her pale hands through the now short hair on her head. She got lost for who knows how long as deft fingers threaded through hair that soon wouldn’t be there, and they basked in the moment. Soft lips dragged across her naked shoulders and the fingers raking over her skull left to wrap arms around her neck. 

Korra hummed at the touch, she could tell that Asami was stalling. “I can do it if you’re not ready, Sams.”

“I can do it,” she huffed out quietly, “your short hair just feels nice. I just need another minute, if that’s ok?”

Korra nodded and they relaxed together, swaying slightly in the heavy quiet of the moment. With a few gentle kisses to her cheek and neck, Asami stood back up and grabbed the clippers. 

With every pass of the blade, Asami tried to fortify the walls of her heart to contain it. She needed to be strong, she needed to be brave, for Korra. The love of her life, the woman she had only days ago agreed to marry. How did that seem like a lifetime ago? They had to call Korra’s parents to drop the news of their engagement but also piggyback it with the fact that her cancer was back, how was that fair?

But when the buzzing was done and Korra was bald once more, Asami only smiled. She was still that bright and beautiful dork that she had fallen in love with, had fallen in love with when she had looked like this years ago. It was a different sight, skin still dark and muscles defined, but she knew only too soon that wouldn’t be the case. 

The upside to this time was that Asami was able to hold Korra through the bad days and nights like she wished she had been able to before. Long hours of vomiting would give way to soft cuddles on their enormous bed. She had gotten used to the radiating heat of Korra’s normal body, but as the months went by her skin got colder and paler and the bedsheets got thicker. It was an adjustment, but Asami didn’t worry too much. She would do anything to make Korra better. 

Her nausea and vomiting was worse this time, but by the end of round one Korra hadn’t contracted a single infection, much to all of their happiness. Asami liked to think that her lack of infection was due to the incredibly strict standards that she had enforced on their home, which at first had Korra whining constantly, but she gave in. 

Asami only trusted Opal and Bolin to come over because she could count on her best friends to decontaminate themselves properly first. It was a nice reprieve to have the other couple for entertainment, and Asami laughed brightly at the not so subtle jibes Opal would send her boyfriend when the discussion of weddings popped up. Aloof as ever, Bolin just raised a brow as the implications flew over his head. 

Such a sweet boy. They’ll get there one day. 

Korra struggled with not seeing her parents, so Asami had relented a week or so into round two. It might have been a little overkill, but nearly dousing them in disinfectant before sweeping their now engaged daughters into a hug was worth it. It had been too long and they both needed some parental affection. 

“So how have our favorite girls been?” Tonraq asked once he dropped them all out of the hug and rubbed Korra’s bald head lovingly. 

“I’ve been better,” Korra chirped and her dad didn’t look amused. “Geez, tough crowd. Well round one sucked again, but we got through it without winding up in isolation this time so I guess it’s been a little better.”

“That’s great sweetie,” Senna cooed. “How have you been, Asami?”

“I’m holding in there,” she gave with a smile. It had been so easy to connect with Korra’s parents once they allowed themselves to be in a relationship and soon enough it felt like the two had always been in her life. “It’s been a damn struggle not being her actual doctor this time, but Opal is amazing.”

“I bet,” Senna offered, “but it should hopefully get a little easier now, right?”

Asami tilted her hand back and forth. “We still need to be careful, but round two is less intense, yes. I started treatment myself a few weeks ago to build up the stem cells in my blood. We’re doing two different types of transplants this time around. A peripheral is pretty easy, they remove the stem cells from my blood and give them to Korra that way and then in a month or so we will do a regular bone marrow transplant.”

“This early?” Tonraq questioned. “She didn’t need that until the end of round two last time, right?”

Asami nodded and smiled at how they had remembered the sequence of events. “That’s right, but since we have an easy match,” she pointed to herself proudly, “it’s better to get my marrow ready for the end of round two so we don’t have to wait.”

The parents gave them both proud smiles and they spent the rest of the night catching up about life and more wedding plans, cancer was the last thing they wanted to talk about when there was a life to plan. 

______

Life is a bitch though and likes to throw wrenches in plans, which of course is how Korra wound up with an infection and thrown into isolation that very next week. 

“You’re giving me whiplash with your pacing,” Opal said when she came out of the isolation ward. “Do I need to give you some Ativan?”

“How is she?” Asami was desperate and she didn’t care what anyone thought. 

“She has leukemia and raging pneumonia, how do you think she is?”

Asami groaned in frustration and paced again. Korra had been in there for a week now and Asami wasn’t allowed to see her, even if she was the head of oncology here. Opal was the attending physician on this case and only she and a few nurses were allowed in Korra’s room. 

“Can’t you just sneak me in?” Asami said in exasperation as her feet moved of their own accord. “We both have green eyes and black hair, I can totally pass as you if I put on a full sterile set.”

“Calm down, Seabiscuit,” Opal said and grabbed Asami to stop her pacing. “You’re also like, 7 inches taller than me so I don’t really see that happening. I’m sorry, Asami, but you have to follow the rules just like everyone else.”

“I hate rules,” Asami said with an indignant pout and Opal laughed hard. 

“Please, you love rules,” she said with a continued giggle. “You’re just soft for your girl, I get it. I’m taking good care of her though, ok? You’re just going to have to settle for FaceTime and wait another two weeks or so.”

Asami groaned again and headed for her office to sulk on her own. For the next three weeks she threw herself into work and her research to try and keep her mind off of Korra being all alone in isolation. They texted and FaceTimed but the pneumonia had sort of wrecked her lungs and it was hard for Korra to talk for a while, but eventually she was released and they finally got to touch again. 

The peripheral bone marrow transplant was an uneventful process that took a little longer to show up in bloodwork compared to a regular transplant, but it showed minor improvements nonetheless. They had administered the stem cells at the end of her stay in isolation and things were looking good by the fourth month of round two. 

Korra pouted and buried her face into clean white fur. “Do we have to let her go?”

Asami ran her fingers through the short, curly hair on Korra’s head and sighed. “I wish we didn’t have to, but you’re getting your marrow transplant tomorrow and as much as I would like to say we keep Naga clean, it’s just too risky. Opal and Bolin are really excited to have her at their apartment, he even bought her a huge bed.”

Korra huffed out a laugh into the fur and finally looked up at Asami. “She’s going to destroy that bed in three seconds.”

“Oh, my bet is it won’t last two,” Asami bantered and kissed those dry lips. “I love you, you know that right? Just a few months and we’ll have her back.”

Korra held out her arm for Asami to come and cuddle between them and she worked through the awkward angles before finally settling in for the night. “I love you too, Asami. We’ll be ok.”

Days and weeks were spent together and as annoying as it was to have to be so careful with Korra’s dreadful immune system, it really was nice to have so much time alone. Asami would sit in Korra’s room at the hospital with her while she got treatments and they would talk about where they would honeymoon, maybe getting another dog or have a kid someday, and just about life in general. It was easy to forget with their busy lives how much they needed to just slow down sometimes and enjoy one another’s company. 

Living together had obviously been nothing but utter bliss. Since that first day they had sex after their morning jog Korra hardly left. It was just simple and neither of them wanted to spend any time apart, so as articles of clothing were left over at Asami’s house more and more, they eventually made it official. There had been some mild headaches in terms of learning to cohabitate, but being able to kiss sleepy lips nearly every morning absolved any sort of annoyance at one another’s actions. 

Life together, slow or fast, was the easiest thing either of them had ever done. Even as the days went by where Asami had to rub Korra’s back through tough bouts of vomit, they had each other to hold onto and that was enough. 

Two months after the bone marrow transplant, Asami rolled over in the middle of the night and curled herself into the delicious heat of Korra’s body. Her sleepy, dream muddled brain took far too long to realize that Korra was hot. Too hot. And shivering. 

Asami sat up quickly and felt Korra’s head, she was on fire. 

“Fuck,” she muttered and shook Korra’s shoulder. “Korra, wake up.”

Korra grumbled and dug her face into her pillow and Asami shook her shoulder again. “Stop, Sam, I’m tired.”

“Korra you’re burning up, we need to go to the hospital.”

“Too cold. Don’t wanna move.”

Asami wasn’t having any of it. She got out of bed and threw on some extra clothes, came around Korra’s side of the bed and threw off the blankets. It was a little mean, but effective. 

“You’re mean,” Korra groaned. 

“I don’t care, now stand up.” Asami helped her stand up and wrapped a blanket tightly around Korra before swooping her up into her arms. Korra sighed in easy defeat and let herself be carried to the car. 

Asami buckled her in and they hit the road, thankful that it was completely empty in the middle of the night. She pressed the button to call Opal over Bluetooth. 

_ ‘Shit, what time is it - hello?’ _

“Opal, Korra has a fever and we’re headed to the hospital.”

_ ‘Damn it...ok. Does she have any symptoms?’ _

“No, she’s lethargic and won’t talk to me. I had to carry her to the car.”

_ ‘Ok, I’ll be there in 20 minutes but tell them I’ve approved you to choose treatment until I get there. Don’t go crazy with that power.’ _

“I won’t make any promises.”

She heard a tired laugh before Opal cut the line and she pulled into the parking lot. She carried Korra through the doors and ignored the offer for a wheelchair. Her arms burned but she wasn’t about to subject her fiancée to someone else’s ass, who knows how often they sanitize those things?

“Sami?” Korra whispered as the elevator took them to the second floor. “My head hurts.”

“Ok, Korra, I’m going to take care of you, alright?” Asami soothed as confidently as she could. “Just be strong for me, ok? Promise me.”

Heavy blue eyes looked clearly onto her own for a beat. “I promise.”

“Dr. Sato?” An isolation nurse asked her when she was met right outside the doors of the ward. “Dr. Beifong called and said you were allowed to give orders. We have room 2 set up and ready.”

He tried to help carry Korra but she brushed him off and took her the rest of the way. He, Zhu Li, and one other nurse were ready once Korra was on the bed and they began to cut her clothes off. 

“Get her started on fluids and keep her warm. I want metabolics, platelets, hormones, cultures; the works. Get X-ray up here and once her temperature is stabilized I want a CT of her chest and abdomen.”

They got to work on her orders and she watched as Korra lolled her head back and forth with her fever, which according to the monitor was at a searing 104.3 degrees. 

Soon enough Opal burst through the doors, hair wet from decontamination, and watched the stats with Asami. “What’s the sitch?”

Asami cracked a smile at the reference but faltered when she remembered where they were. “She said she has a headache but I haven’t seen anything else. She’s on fluids and I ordered the gauntlet of bloodwork and radiology, but I think it’s the flu. Her stomach has been a little extra iffy these last few days.”

Opal nodded and turned to look at Asami. “I’m going to let you stay in here for a little bit since you two live together, but I’m going to have to kick you out eventually.”

She could honestly cry she loved Opal so much, but for the sake of the situation she gave a small thanks and went to sit in that all too familiar seat next to Korra’s bed. 

She was powerless to help Korra and had to trust that Opal would do whatever she could, but to see her weed through hallucinations from her fever and illness was a new level of terrifying. Eventually Korra fell asleep, however fitfully, and Asami was kicked out of the room. 

“She has the flu,” Opal started softly as they walked out of isolation together and Asami wrapped the large sweatshirt she had grabbed in haste around her tightly. It was Korra’s old soccer sweatshirt from college, it still smelled like her. “She’s on your esteemed concoction of antivirals and ibuprofen, but you know it’s just a waiting game and trusting that she will fight.”

“She will,” Asami said strongly. “She has to...she promised.”

______

“How are you feeling?”

‘Like shit.’ Korra’s voice was raspy and watery, but she gave Asami a lopsided grin nonetheless. It had been a week since she was admitted to isolation and the flu had played a hard battle. Her fever had reduced but then her lungs took the brunt of the hit, and today was the first day she was able to hold a conversation on FaceTime. 

“Don’t over exert yourself, ok? I just wanted to see you and tell you that I love you. I went to see Naga last night and I swear Bolin is feeding her way too much, she’s put on some pounds.”

Korra wheezed out a laugh and had a nasty coughing fit before looking back through the phone. ‘Tell him to go on runs with her, Nuktuk needs his exercise too.’

Asami wanted to talk more but the coughing fit was back and it got so bad that Korra had to hang up. Asami leaned back in her chair and ran her hands over her face. Being away from Korra was fucking torture, and knowing that she was all alone in isolation did nothing to help. Opal tried her best to keep her fiancée company, but it just wasn’t the same. Research and other patients could only keep her occupied for so long. 

______

Opal was sweet, really, but isolation this time around was vastly inferior compared to a few years ago, which was really saying something. None of the hands that touched her were the right ones and no one soothed her as well as Asami could, and Korra realized how lucky she had been before. 

She was still lucky, as she laid here and listened to Opal talk about how she and Bolin wanted to get a puppy once Naga was back with her own owners. She had people around her who cared, and that was a lot more than other patients could say who were stuck in a predicament the same as hers. 

The hours spent alone without anyone in the room, without Asami, were fucking soul crushing. White walls seemed to inch in on her and for the first few days she didn’t know if her hallucinations were from the fever or just her mind finally giving in to insanity. 

She had her phone, though, and decided that when her fingers actually wanted to work she could put them to use, so she wrote. She wrote about nothing and everything, using multiple different folders in her notes app to just jot down ideas and feelings about life in general. In the back of her mind she knew it was a little cynical, and that these words were something she could leave behind for her loved ones if she didn’t make it out of this round, but as that little yellow line clicked by she felt more and more unencumbered by the weight of not being able to tell everyone who matters to her how much she loves them. 

Asami’s was the longest, of course. 

While in the grand scheme of things they hadn’t been together that long, it was more than enough time for Korra to know. She knew early on that Asami, if given the chance, would be the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Hell, Korra had even gone out and bought a ring the day she broke her lease on her old apartment. 

So no, it didn’t matter how long they had been together because as long as that sweet face and those gentle eyes kept looking at her like she was the only girl in the entire world, Korra would do anything for her, no matter what. Even fight this battle that for some reason deep in her gut felt like it was about to be the one that might finish her off for good. 

______

Even though she was a young, successful, nearly world renowned doctor, Opal Beifong was practically incapable of keeping a straight face with her best friend. 

“Asami?” She knocked tentatively on the office door. It had been another week and Korra wasn’t showing any signs of improvement. Asami knew something was wrong by the look in Opal’s eyes. “Asami...you need to decontaminate and come to isolation with me.”

Prickling dread rained all over her body and her windpipe felt like it was crushing. “What happened?”

Opal took a deep breath. “Her BP is on the fritz, she’s in borderline renal failure, and her blood is clotting way too much.”

“Cytokine storm,” Asami mumbled numbly. If septic shock was bad, cytokine storm was its big, muscly brother who just busted himself out of jail with one hand. 

“Yea, her blood is swamped with cytokines,” Opal agreed. “We’re getting a room prepped in the ICU right now to get her on Varri-Sorb. I’m confident it will work, but...”

“I understand.” She didn’t want to understand, she knew she needed to move but the effort was too much. Images flashed in her head of so many people she’s lost to this inflammatory response and her heart couldn’t take the thought of it happening to Korra too. 

_ Korra. _

That thought alone got her out of her chair and they hurried to isolation. Varrick’s crafty invention was a major milestone in blood purification, but nothing was ever 100% effective. 

She decontaminated quickly and headed for the room. She took a deep breath at the door, it had been two weeks since she saw Korra in person and wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when she opened the door. 

Korra smiled so brightly as she walked in, and honestly, how could that smile not cure cancer? If only it were that easy. 

“Hi, beautiful,” Korra said with a weak voice. Her cough had subsided but Asami could see that she was in pain and deteriorating slowly. “I must be bad if Opal let you in to see me.”

“It’s....not ideal,” Asami offered and she brushed back a lock of brown hair with her gloved hand. “Do you want me to tell you about it?”

Korra shrugged. “Maybe just short-story it for me.”

“Right,” Asami said with a soft smile. “Basically your body is overproducing cells to fight inflammation, causing your kidney, lungs, and blood to not work the way they’re supposed to. We’re putting you on a machine that takes your blood and filters out those overproducing cells before they can cause more damage, and we’re hoping that solves the problem.”

“And if it doesn’t solve the problem?” 

Asami’s silence was more than enough of an answer. 

“Ok,” Korra said softly and reached out for Asami’s hand. “Ok, we’ll be ok.”

“Promise me you’ll try your hardest?” Her voice was starting to falter. 

“You know I always will, Asami,” Korra gave gently. “For you, I’ll do anything.”

Asami leaned forward and placed her forehead on Korra’s hand, not able to give her any other form of intimacy but needing to be close. 

“Hey,” Korra said with a touch of humor in her voice. “Isn’t this when the Make-a-Wish foundation is supposed to contact me?”

Asami laughed and wiped away a small tear. “Honey, that’s just for kids.”

“Damn, I could have really used one right now.”

“What would you wish for, Korra?” 

Korra’s weak hand stroked Asami’s face reverently and those blue eyes soaked in every inch of her. “I’d wish that I could have married you first, before we found out. Maybe this could have happened a few years later, we could have had a kid or two and then I would have known that if anything, I wasn’t leaving you alone in this world.” She brushed away tears that were streaming down her face but continued on. “I’d wish what I always have, that we could have met and fell in love someplace else. I’d wish to grow old with you, next to you, lift you up until I can’t anymore. I’d wish-I’d wish for you to be happy, no matter what.”

“Oh, Korra,” Asami choked on her sob and couldn’t help but cry, as hard as she tried to be strong. A soft hand stroked her hair through sobs and she eventually sat back up. “You have made me happy, don’t you see? I don’t regret a single thing, Korra. I have never loved and will never love someone like I do you, and I’ll prove it every day to you once you beat this. You’re going to beat this, we’re going to get married, and I’ll prove to you every day how much I love you.”

“Ok,” she said softly with a small nod. “I’ll do my best, but just in case, I wrote you something in the notes on my phone. My passcode is your birthday.”

Asami huffed out a watery laugh and wiped her face. “I know your passcode, dork. But you can show me what you wrote when you wake up.”

“Deal.” 

Asami stood up and sat on the edge of the bed. She wanted nothing more than to place small kisses over Korra’s face, but she was already pushing it by being in here. Instead, she grabbed both of those tan hands in her own and squeezed gently. “I love you, Korra. I love you so much it hurts. You’re going to be ok, we’re going to be ok.”

Korra pulled her down close enough to just touch foreheads and she allowed it for a moment. They both needed one last respite. “I love you too, Asami.”

She watched a few minutes later as Korra was rolled away to the ICU, and Opal gave her a reassuring smile as they rounded the corner before going out of sight. 

And right there, in the middle of the hallway, Asami slid down the wall and collapsed into a broken puddle on the floor. Dignity had no place in utter terror and lasting torment as she watched her entire heart round that corner, possibly only to be seen alive for the last time. Asami didn’t know if it would be possible to live a life with any pain greater than she was feeling right now, it was indescribable. If Korra died, a major piece of her would die too and even being someone who had lost both parents, Asami knew she would never recover from this. 

Korra was her one, and she used to laugh at the thought of a single person being able to enrapture another person’s heart so unequivocally, but here she was. She got lost a long time ago in those bright blue eyes and no other color would ever be the same. Tan wouldn’t be as dark, smiles wouldn’t be as lopsided and welcoming, laughs wouldn’t be so melodic. No, there was absolutely no one who could hold her heart so gently and preciously like Korra did. She had to make it. She  _ had to _ . 

______

She was vaguely aware of the familiar feeling of coming out of an induced coma. Her thoughts were muddled and everything was heavy, but at least this time her chest didn’t hurt so much.  _ They didn’t have to do CPR then, _ she thought,  _ nice. _ Time was a little funny when comas were involved and she felt no need to rush the process. Floating was nice, it was airy, it was kind of bright to be honest. 

Bright? No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t bright last time. Did that mean....did that mean it didn’t work? This heavy but floating feeling, was that not waking up? Was she traveling towards the light....was that even a real thing?

Experimentally, she tried to take a deep breath, and thankfully she found out she could. Next was moving something, anything, so she focused on her fingers, but laughed when she realized she couldn’t tell if she was moving them or not. Lastly, her eyes. They were so, so heavy but with all her might, she cracked them, and saw familiar white walls. They slammed back down and she felt happy, it worked. 

Korra slept off the exertion for a little bit and found it much easier to open her eyes next time, and when she did she was sad to see that no one was in the room with her. The little remote that held the call button was only a few inches away from her, but the effort would be monumental in her current state. She took some deep breaths, and the thought of Asami jumped into her head.  _ Do it for her, everything is for her. _

The call button was pressed and now all she had to do was lay back and wait. Soon enough there were a few doctors and a nurse pushing around machines and talking to her, but she couldn’t care to hear any of it. Opal was there, and she flashed her an incredibly teary grin that had them both smiling like idiots. 

She made it. 

Soon enough all the doctors left but Opal, and she grasped both sides of Korra’s face and looked ready to kiss her, and she finally heard the first thing. 

“I. Am. So. Fucking. Proud. Of. You!”

She smiled in reply and could feel the tears fall down her cheeks. 

“Get some sleep, Korra, you beautiful fucking thing. You’re going to need a lot of rest, even though you were in a coma for 10 days.”

Opal left with a wave and she did as she was told. It wasn’t hard, falling back asleep, not at all. She woke up a few more times after that, feeling more lucid and alive each time, and on the third rising she was met with a heap of black hair on the side of her bed. 

_ Asami. _

Her hands and arms listened better to instruction this time and she somewhat awkwardly ran fingers through that soft hair. She loved to wake up Asami like this, to get her to come out of whatever dreams slowly and with the comforting feeling of their connection. It was a process, but she was glad to take this moment to bask in the reality of beating something that had two of the best oncologists in the world scared. 

She promised she would. 

The heap of black started to fidget a little and Korra decided it was time to try her voice. “Asami.” It was thick and raspy, but they had done a good job with the breathing tube since it hadn’t hurt as much this time, but the girl didn’t wake. “Asami!” She said a little more forcefully and her fiancée started to stir. 

Sleepy green eyes eventually met her own and they took a long pause to make sure it was real. 

“Hi, beautiful,” Korra rasped and Asami squeezed her eyes closed in relief. 

“Oh, Korra.” Asami sat up and took her hand in her own. “You are the greatest fucking thing of my life.”

“Marry me,” Korra said in reply. 

“I already said yes.” Asami raised an eyebrow in question and Korra laughed weakly. 

“No, I mean like right now. Or whenever I can get out of the ICU,” Korra was determined and held on tight to Asami’s hand. “We can do a big ceremony and party later on, but I want to marry you now.”

“Ok, relax,” Asami soothed, “your throat will be sore if you keep it up.”

“What do you say?” Korra threw her that trademark grin and who was she to deny, really?

“Again, I already said yes,” Asami said with a laugh. “I’ll marry you whenever you want, I never cared about the party. Also, your parents are already here so it kind of works out.”

Korra’s brows furrowed. “They’re here? Why? When?”

Asami gave her an unimpressed look. “Korra, you were literally on the brink of death, would you really not expect them to be here? And trust me, I already got my ass chewed out for not telling them about all of this sooner. They didn’t care to listen that you’re not my patient and I wasn’t aware until right before.”

Korra laughed at the thought. “Yea, sounds like them.”

Asami hummed and lifted Korra’s hand to place on her cheek, craving more touch. 

“Did you read it?” Korra asked. “Did you read the note in my phone?”

Asami locked eyes with her and gave a somewhat apologetic smile. “I did, is that ok?”

“Of course it’s ok, it was for you.” Korra turned her hand and placed her palm on Asami’s cheek, heart fluttering when the girl leaned into it. “What did you think?”

Asami hummed and closed her eyes for a moment. “I still think I love you more.”

Korra looked at her incredulously before they both broke out in laughter, which of course hurt like a bitch but was worth it. “You’re such a dick sometimes, you know that?”

“Yes, but you still love me.”

“I do.” Her tone was thick with love and they got lost in each other’s faces again. 

Asami smiled. “Marry me.”

“Oh I plan to.”

_______

“This probably isn’t the best time, but you’re not the greatest patient.”

The look Asami gave her even had the midwife flinching from its power, but Korra just placed a smacking kiss on that pale, sweaty cheek. 

“I’m trying to birth your child here, Korra, you should be a little ni-oh fucking hell.” The words were cut off by another contraction, they were getting closer and closer together now. 

“And you’re doing wonderfully, my love,” Korra cooed as she rubbed her back through the pain. Once it subsided, Korra spoke again. “Is this how annoyed you felt every time I wouldn’t take the pain meds? Because you still have time for an epidural.”

“I’m fine,” Asami panted with a smile. “This is cake, loads of women do it all the time without meds I’m fiii-oh fucking Raava save me.”

Korra and their midwife shared a look but whatever Asami wanted, Asami got. 

Their daughter was born just after midnight in the dark, rainy morning of their fourth wedding anniversary. She was a week late, and came into the world without a sound. There was a moment of sheer terror but when she was plopped onto Asami’s chest and Korra placed a hand on her back, she took a deep breath and began to wail. 

As they lay there together hours later that early morning in the easy quiet of the postpartum ward, deliriously sleep deprived and happy, all they could do was stare at her. A tiny, tan hand wrapped itself around an equally tan finger and Korra nearly stopped breathing. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to do Yasuko?” Korra asked once she found her lungs again. “I think it’s very pretty.”

Asami snuggled in closer to her side and rested a hand on their daughter’s back, who seemed completely content at the moment on her mom’s bare chest. “As much as I love my mom and miss her, our daughter should have her own name, her own destiny, don’t you think?”

“Ok,” Korra said after a beat, “do you have any other ideas?” The idea of meeting their daughter before naming her was starting to sound a little silly now, but she was here and that’s all that mattered. They would figure it out. 

They both watched as the tiny babe with ruffles of jet black hair yawned and opened her eyes for a moment to look at them in contempt. They couldn’t tell yet if they would be green or blue, and they had some lengthy arguments with no malice on which it would be. Korra wanted them to be green of course and Asami pleaded for them to be blue. 

“What about Yumi?”

Korra tasted the name out but shook her head. “It’s too...you and me. You-me.”

Asami laughed softly and rubbed at the tender skin of that tiny tan back. “You give it a try then.”

Korra hummed and thought of all the names she had liked when they flipped through baby books over the months. 

“How about Amaya?” She offered and looked down at the serene face so content on her chest. “It means night rain, and she was born on a rainy night.”

“Amaya Sato, I think I like it.” She leaned down and kissed Korra’s bare shoulder. 

“Yea?” She asked happily and placed her own hand over her wife’s. “What do you think, little one? Do you like Amaya?”

They obviously got no reply but it was decided anyway and sealed with a kiss. Asami leaned back and smiled at the sight of her girls, and damn what a sight. They resumed their quiet serenity, now a complete family with names and all, and everything was as it should be. 

“Thank you, Asami.” Korra whispered with closed eyes. 

Asami hummed happily. “What for?”

“For...everything.” Korra nearly struggled with the words. “For never giving up on me, loving me, working your ass off and finding a cure for me.” She took her hand off where it had been lain on top of the pale one and gestured to the three of them. “For this. I never thought I could be so happy or so lucky. I would do all of it, every single prick of needle and every vomit, every stay in isolation and near death experience: I would do it all over again if it meant I would be right here, right now in this moment. I love you so much and I can’t wait to raise this little thing with you.”

Asami smiled and laughed into her shoulder, which probably wasn’t the greatest reaction but give her a break, she just gave birth. “I think I would leave out some days, but I’m right there with you, honey. Every day with you gets better and better and I can’t wait to see where it all goes. But for now, let’s try and get some sleep, yea?”

“Sounds perfect.”

  
  
  
  


________

  
  
  


_ Dear Asami.  _

_ If you’re reading this it probably means I’m dead, or that somehow you found my phone and snooped through all of my stuff. Either way, I really don’t mind. Nothing in here is anything that I wouldn’t have said to you in person had I got the chance, but I’m honestly pretty bored here in isolation and we both know that there’s always a chance that I won’t make it, so I wanted to leave you with something you could come back to if you wanted.  _

_ I love you. I love you I love you I fucking love you. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you the second you walked through that door the first day we met and I’ve been a goner since. Some days I just look at you and wonder how you’re even real, wonder how you could ever fall for a girl like me, but then you go and kiss me stupid and I figure that I must be doing something right.  _

_ It’s probably just the abs, but whatever.  _

_ I hope that I’ve made good on my promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted through these short years we have been together. You deserve everything I can give you and more, I need you to always remember that.  _

_ I’m really, really sorry if I die, ok? Please know that I tried with all my might to do everything I could. I’m not ready to go, not at all. I’m terrified at the thought of leaving you, leaving my parents, and all of our friends. Tell Bolin to finally pluck up the courage and ask Opal to marry him, we both know he wants to but is afraid.  _

_ Man, I hope I can see them get married. Watch our kids run around together, you know? _

_ I wrote them all stuff too as I’m sure you’ve seen if you’re reading this, but tell Mako to take a break once and a while too. He can have his job and find love as well, and I think you’re the best person to show him how to do that.  _

_ I am confident that I could live an entire lifetime with you but still never get enough of you. The feel of your skin against mine drives me wild, your eyes have me roped into your soul and I’m a helpless, helpless woman for your touch. Each time my hands have roamed your body I find something new that captivates me and I’ve come to the conclusion that there has never been someone like you who has graced the earth, and to know that you actually want to marry me? It’s fucking wild.  _

_ I could listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. Even that day in isolation when you were talking about your stem cell research, I had absolutely no idea what you were saying but I felt every bit of it. Your passion for what you do amazes me and I would like nothing more than to sit and listen to you talk about blood platelets and stem cells forever, so long as I get to see your face light up and your eyes do that thing they do.  _

_ I could go on and on, really, and honestly I might make another folder just to talk about how beautiful and amazing you are, but I’m here right now for a reason.  _

_ Please live, Asami. If I die, you can’t die with me. I know it’s a cruel thing to ask, because I know if the roles were reversed that I couldn’t imagine an earth without you, but I need to have some comfort in knowing that you’ll be ok. It was selfish of me to fall in love with you, when we both knew what could go wrong, and it’s selfish of me to go. But if selfish gave me you then it can’t be all bad. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I hope you can say the same about me. I hope that you can cherish all of our memories together and some day not feel pain from them but be happy in the fact that we loved. Oh holy shit did we love, but again, that’s sort of a different topic for this folder.  _

_ Take care of my parents, would you? I’m their only kid and it’s not fair for a child to die before their parents. You are their daughter too now, and have been for a long time, so take care of each other. I’m not exactly sure what fate lies on the other side of life but I’m pretty sure I’ll be ok, and I want you guys to be ok too.  _

_ Maybe reincarnation is a thing, like in Avatar. If so, I’ll find you again. If I could live 100,000 lifetimes I know I would meet you each time, your heart is the one I’m made to search for. No one else could ever shine as bright inside me as you do, my bones ache to find you and my heart wants to burst out of its little spot in my chest when I see you. Even when you’re sick and have snot running down your nose or your hair is disheveled from sleep. You’re always perfect to me, you’re all I want and I will never get tired of telling you that. _

_ I started some vows, even before you said yes. If you search well enough in my drawers you’ll find them, but I’m hoping to be able to fix them up a bit and tell you them as I put that ring on your finger.  _

_ This has been pretty dramatic, and I really don’t plan on dying anytime soon, but I just want to make sure you know how deeply I love you. It aches so much it makes me sick sometimes how much I love you. Not in a bad way, of course, but it’s almost overwhelming sometimes.  _

_ What I wouldn’t give to be able to sleep next to you for the rest of our lives. To feel your soft breath and know that you’re ok, you’re with me, and that we’re ok.  _

_ If I die and you find someone else, don’t worry about me. Whatever you need in life to make you happy is ok with me, but just know that if I don’t think they’re treating you exactly as you deserve that I’m going to haunt them. For a very long time. _

_ Maybe I should haunt myself, because sometimes I don’t think I even do enough. I’ll add that to my list of things to work on when I’m in remission.  _

_ I guess what I’m really trying to say here is...thank you, for everything. I love you, Asami. _

**Author's Note:**

> Yea I had to add Korra's letter in there, the main one anyway. She wrote a few others for Asami of course but none like that one.
> 
> But anyway, I really hope you all liked this! I hadn't intended of writing more past "Would you risk it ALL," but somehow I did. 
> 
> Ativan - lorazepam. It's an anti-anxiety medication. 
> 
> Cytokine Storm - I think it was explained well enough in the story but I just wanted to leave you all with the not so fun fact that a lot of deaths from COVID-19 are cytokine storm related.
> 
> The Varri-Sorb is an actual thing, used mainly in Europe as a nonpharmacologic treatment for cytokine storm, it's called CytoSorb which is manufactured by CytoSorbents Corp. It does what I described, taking blood from the patient and filters out the bad shit, it's just a lot more involved than those meager words.


End file.
